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In my social life, I was content to interact as a man, albeit being considered gay. In my private life, I again trolled the more remote pubs. I also gave vent to my sexual proclivities by exposing my sexuality to anonymous men. There were the few who freaked out when I explained that I was a transman. In most cases, however, the intrigue of my ‘disposition’ proved to be rather alluring. I was also rather fortunate that I never got into a confrontational situation due to my bizarre status quo.My highest success was with bi-curious men and quite often, I got propositioned to have a scene with a man and his girlfriend. This scenario did not appeal to me at all because I had no lesbian inclinations.At this point in my life, I decided to join a gym. I was not a fitness fanatic but reasoned that keeping in shape could do me no harm. The gym I joined operated from five a.m. until nine p.m. daily. I always hated getting up early and decided that I would rather visit the gym after eight in. Except that somehow I know I did them. I knew right away some of those ghostly images flashing through my fuzzy brain were true when I woke up the next morning. I knew by the terrible taste in my mouth and by the pain I felt when I moved.As I lay there in bed beside Sharon the next morning it suddenly occurred to me I had no idea how we had gotten home. I remember that I started to get up and go to the bathroom shortly after I awoke and I felt the sudden sharp pains in my stomach and ... and in my anus. In addition to the horrible taste in my mouth, when I swallowed my throat felt like I had been eating broken glass.I lay there quietly then, trying desperately to remember. Some, a very few of the events of the previous evening started coming back, slowly, with great difficulty. But it was all hazy and most of the night is still a blank even now. I know we had a lot to drink but I know that isn’t the reason we behaved the way we did and it doesn’t explain why I can’t remember anything.
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